Jealous- part 1

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
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In my opinion, Jane Austen is one of the greatest romance novelists of all time. She wrote nine books over her lifetime and her insight of human nature and emotion that can be seen throughout all of her works is unique. I was randomly pondering one of her books Sense and Sensibility today. In case you don't know the storyline of this book, it is basically about two sisters, Elinor and Marianne (there's a third sister named Margaret too, but she's not very important to the story). When their father dies, their family must move out of their grand home to live in a small house in the countryside. As they begin to adjust, they meet several people, including a quiet man called Colonel Brandon. Marianne, who is the dramatic, romantic type (a little like me) believes that Brandon is a very dull man because of his silent, sad nature, but yet Brandon still seems to take a liking to Marianne.

 One day, Marianne is walking with her little sister Margaret and it begins to storm. Marianne is running and she slips and hurts her ankle. A strange man sees them on the side of the road and he carries her home, since Margaret isn't strong enough to carry Marianne. The man introduces himself as Willoughby, and the instant attraction between him and Marianne is quite obvious. He continues to visit her as her ankle is healing, showing her beautiful music and romance books. They get extremely attached as they continue to read stories and play music together, and soon Marianne is head-over-heels in love with this man. After they have been spending time together for a few months, Willoughby and Marianne take their relationship to the point of no return; he cuts off a piece of her hair to keep. You don't think this is a big deal? Well, in the 1700s, if a man kept a piece of a woman's hair, this meant that they were engaged to be married. So basically, this was a huge step almost equivalent to kissing in those days. This seals the emotional attachment. All of the time, however, Colonel Brandon is watching this blooming relationship between Willoughby and Marianne and there is enormous tension between Brandon and Willoughby.

A picture of Marianne and Willoughby- from the BBC adaption of the book- my favorite adaption :)
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06/07/article-2337371-02A49500000004B0-550_634x419.jpg

Suddenly, Willoughby decides to leave for London, leaving Marianne behind. This breaks her heart, and she instantly goes into a trance of lovesickness. Eventually, she gets the opportunity to go to London, and she eagerly travels there with Elinor, anxious to see her beloved Willoughby again. However, when she sees him, he ignores her completely and sends her letters telling her that he isn't interested. Marianne, being the drama queen that she is, goes on yet another walk all by herself in the rain as soon as she gets home from London and catches a fever. Colonel Brandon steps in and begins to care for her. He also speaks to Elinor, and tells her that in the past, he was a guardian over a young girl, and when the girl was only a teenager, Willoughby had gotten her pregnant, which is why Brandon dislikes Willoughby so much.

Marianne slowly recovers, and although she is heartbroken, Colonel Brandon's dedication and love towards her allows her to overcome it all. In the end, they get married. 

So what's the point of this soap opera-ish story from the 1700s? How in the WORLD does it relate to God? Well, I was pondering this, and I realized that Marianne is a little bit like each of us. She is caught up between two lovers, Colonel Brandon and Willoughby. Willoughby is sorta like sin, or anything that steals our hearts away from God and Colonel Brandon is like God, loving us so much and wanting the best for us. Throughout the relationship between Willoughby and Marianne, Brandon was always there, ready to help Marianne the moment things got out of hand. But, he also didn't force her to fall in love with him instead, even though it was obvious that he was the better choice. In the same way, God also gives us a choice; he doesn't force us to follow him, he allows us to choose to love him. And the moment we turn to him, he is willing and ready to heal us from our hurt and wipe away our tears.

Colonel Brandon and Marianne (also from the BBC movie)
http://s1213.photobucket.com/user/Alys_Key/media/colonelbrandoncarriesmarianne.jpg.html

But God is also jealous for us. Just as how it broke Brandon's heart to see Marianne's infatuation for Willoughby, God is heartbroken when he sees us falling for the temporary things of this world. He is constantly trying to win us back and desiring for us to realize our need for Him.

Chaotic Christmas

http://christian-backgrounds.com/christian-wallpapers-backgrounds/desktop-wallpapers/picture/christmas/568-jesus-birth-and-the-star

Every week at church, I lead a kindergarten small group. For the last few weeks, we have been doing various Christmas crafts during the small group time. Last Sunday, one of the activities was to cut out all of the different characters from the nativity- the shepherds, the wise men, Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, the animals, the angel- and glue them all to a picture of an empty stable on a sheet of paper. But there was an issue with the craft; the stable was WAY too small for all of those little paper characters! The kids in my small group had a difficult time fitting all of the little shepherds and magi and other people into the picture. But, many of them somehow managed to squeeze them all as neatly as possible onto the paper with Joseph and Mary and the baby in the center with the shepherds, animals, and wise men surrounding them. However, one little girl didn't even try to arrange the people in the typical manger scene way. In fact, she didn't even put baby Jesus on the ground of the stable, she glued him floating in the air in the middle of the paper! Then, she put all of the other little characters in a big, unorganized blob-like formation around him. At first, this really bothered me. Then, it occurred to me how well this depicted the Christmas story. While most people picture the nativity scene as a serene picture of rustic shepherds with their cute, fluffy sheep, a sweet, adoring Mary, and a holy baby wrapped in clean, white cloths with a little ring of light around his head, I don't believe that the actual event was like this at all. I mean seriously, the baby was born in a STABLE, probably surrounded by dirty, smelly animals and soiled hay and cow manure. That's the opposite of serene. I kind of wonder if the stable was more like this picture...

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2007/1510680324_0d799c6279.jpg

But yet, as crazy as it may have seemed, as chaotic as the strange circumstances surrounding the story may have appeared, there was still something greater. In the midst of the nativity story, I'll bet that Mary and Joseph wondered why they had to stay in a stable, why they had to put their newborn son in a dirty, nasty manger. But even when it seemed all chaotic and unorganized, everything added to a bigger picture. Each character, each circumstance, was all about God's plan to save the world. So in the end, it didn't matter that everything wasn't serene and perfect and Hallmark card worthy, because God had something better than that. He had a greater plan. So even when circumstances seem so meaningless and trials make us feel like God doesn't care about us, we can look at the Christmas story and realize that there is something bigger at work in our lives. This reminds me of the lyrics of one of my favorite songs.
"All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You."
- Beautiful Things by The Michael Gungor Band

So despite chaos and seemingly useless pain, God makes beautiful things out of dust.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
<3 Clara 

Irrational fears

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Here are my top three irrational fears:

1. Clowns
2. Cabbage Patch Kids
3. Gumby
I don't know if anyone else is like me in this, but Gumby really is frightening! He (or it, whatever it is) gives me this icky feeling inside whenever I see pictures of him. But on a more serious note, there are so many things to be afraid of. All of us have had questions at one time or another like: What if an earthquake happens where I live? What if I have an internet stalker? What if someone who I'm close to becomes severely ill or passes away? What if I suddenly have to move to Greenland and leave behind all of my friends from school and church? Or, the classic one for teenage girls, "What if I'm forever alone and never find my significant other?"
The sad part is, all of these fears have to do with "I, me, my". Fear itself is a selfish thing. Although it may have to do with someone other than yourself such as a close friend, in the end, all great fears boil down to one common subject: you. But what is there to do about it? Well, there's this amazing verse that I find myself reciting many times. "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
In the end, these fears are so ridiculous. God has such an awesome plan already, why are you fretting about what it is? And why spend so much time worrying what will happen to you when you could go out and help others who are facing those types of trials? If you can help those who are moving away from their home, or who have lost a loved one or who are struggling with the idea of being single, you can go and help them. It will allow you to spread God's love and realize that it isn't all about you; a win-win situation!

When it rains it pours

The saying "when it rains it pours" is very common, yes. But I never realized its true significance until this past week. To begin the week, my gerbil Reepicheep (named after the Chronicles of Narnia) died of old age, which was quite sad. Then the next day, Wednesday, at around 10:30 in the morning, a switch in the circuit board in my house broke and we lost electricity! Of course, I have lived without electricity before, but I have never had to go without it in my own house for more than about thirty minutes. Before I knew it, I was working at the library to get internet and using candles for light whenever I was at home. To make matters worse, the handyman of my house, my dad, was out of town and wasn't coming home until Thursday night. Also, that Wednesday night was the coldest night since the beginning of this winter and we didn't have any heat since the electricity was down. When my dad finally got home the following night, we had been living without electricity for more than twenty-four hours; he came home to a freezing cold house and he also had happened to lose one of his suitcases at the airport, which was quite frustrating as well. He began to work on fixing it as soon as possible, and unfortunately enough that involved removing the entire circuit board and replacing it. If things couldn't get worse, he was parked in the Home Depot parking lot to get supplies to fix the circuit board on Friday and when he tried to start the car to leave, he realized that the starter in the engine had stopped working! So, not only did we have a gerbil death, a cold dark house, and lost luggage, but also a broken down car! Thankfully, my dad is virtually a jock of all trades and after a long day of working on the circuit board, the lights came on (and I've never been happier to switch on a light). The following day, Saturday, he was able to fix the car and a person from the airport also found his luggage and returned it to us. Although I'm still recovering a little bit and catching up on the schoolwork that I didn't get to do because it was saved on an electronic storage device, I am glad that it happened. Why? Because I learned through the whole thing how much I have to be thankful for. How else would I have realized how blessed I am to have electric lighting and heat and a functional microwave? Without this crazy experience, I would still take it for granted.

Letters

Did you know that there are twenty-six letters in the English alphabet? Well, if you didn't before now, I am truly genuinely sorry for you and I suggest that you go through first grade again. But that's beside the point. Have you ever thought of how many different words can be formed from each letter? Take for example the letter "f". There are many lovely things that start with the letter "f" such as  Flamingos, Ferris wheels, Funny jokes, Frozen lemonade (I love that stuff), French Fries, Flying saucers, Flying squirrels, Flying tomatoes(well, that's actually not that lovely, especially if you were an actor in ancient Roman times, because back then people would throw tomatoes at the actors onstage if they didn't like the performance! I don't think I would be able to eat ketchup after that...), Flan ( a delicious Mexican custard), Flowers, and many more Fabulous things! But, there are also many bad things that start with the letter "f". Failure, Frustration, Frightening images, Felines (I'm just kidding- really I am...) and even distasteful, offensive words as well. It reminds me of the things in life. Just as how there are lots and lots of letters in the alphabet, there are lots and lots of circumstances and events in each of our lives. However, just as how each letter can be used to form something good or something bad, every day, every moment in our lives can be used for good or for bad. Every moment we have a chance to shine and reflect God's glory, or we have a chance to follow our sinful natures and turn away from Him. Psalm 90:12 says, "Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." The truth is, all of us are going to die someday which means that our days are limited. In this verse, we are reminded of this fact. Looking at this, it really makes me feel like it is even more important to give each moment of my life to Christ. Although I'm not perfect, I want to keep depending on Him so I can reflect His love with my life.