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| No Name Face (2000), Lifehouse's album that includes the song "Hanging by a Moment" https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/da/No_Name_Face.jpg |
I am a planner. The spontaneous,
unplanned, and random aren't exactly my thing. Whenever something goes against
my prescribed plans or ideas, I freak out quite a bit. But over the past few
months, God has taught me some lessons about learning to trust His plans, not my own. For the
first few months of this school year, I was stuck. Or so I thought. I was at a
school that I didn't really choose and I didn't know if I was going to stay
there or not. I had spent the past three years with a specific identity
and a wonderful friend group that were both lost in the transition
between high school and college, so I felt like I was left with absolutely
nothing. That's where I stayed, for months, pleading for God to just give
me answers to my many questions. As I was in this spot, I learned something
difficult to process, but wonderful to believe: the art of trusting God, even
when He seems silent.
Last month, I found an old song from my childhood: Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse. Interestingly enough, the lyrics to this song exactly summarize what God has been teaching me. Today, I just want to write out the lyrics in a broken-down format, as a stream-of-consciousness-styled prayer to Him, using various Bible verses to emphasize each section of the prayer. I know that I'm not unique in my struggles to trust God and His promises, so I hope that this prayer will impact you as well.
I'm desperate for changing
Starving for truth
"I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5
God, I want to know what's going to happen next in this area of my life. I want a change. I want something to be different from this endless mundane.
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
"Sing to the LORD, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day." 1 Chronicles 16:23
Every day feels empty, yet somehow I feel closer to you in each day of waiting. That's the mysterious and paradoxical part of following You; I get closer and closer to You every day, despite my frustrations.
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16
These feelings of desperation are somehow making me fall deeper in love with You, God. That's the irony, isn't it? The longer I wait for You, the more I realize my desperate need for You. As every bit of trust in other things of this world fall away and I'm left with nothing, the more I cling to You.
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 37:7a
That's what it means to be still. Resting, waiting, knowing that You're working, even when I'd rather be moving. Squirming with the discomfort of not knowing, but also choosing to close my eyes and be still instead.
Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...
I feel like I'm waiting for something big to happen in this area of my life, but You also have work for me to do right now. As I am being still and waiting in one area, I know You want me to stay busy in the other areas of life. That's what's wonderful about You. You take all of me- as I am completely incomplete- and You use me for something beautiful. And that's how I can take my mind off of the noise of impatience and focus on You instead- by focusing on what You want me to do right now.
I'm falling even more in love with you
I'm letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18
God, make this true in my heart. Make me courageous enough to just stand here, without fear of the future and with complete trust in Your unfailing love.
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
I have no earthly idea why You put me in this place or why You're telling me to make these small decisions day by day, but, I do know one thing: You're doing all of this for a reason. Every up and down, every moment of hardship, every moment of joy, it's all there to mold me into something amazing. So here we go, God.
There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:18
There's nothing else to lose or to find except You. Because everything else is temporal and conditional. But this gradual, still peace that comes from trusting You is eternal.
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you...
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
"Jesus replied, 'You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.'" John 13:7
You said this verse in John while discussing Your ministry here on earth- Your purpose of coming here to save us and serve us. So basically, if You saved me from my sins with such a wonderful plan, how much more do You care about this little plan for my day-to-day life?
Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment here with you
That's it. I'm just hanging by a moment here with You, Lord. I just wait, moment by moment, day by day, until You move me to the next frame of life. And as I look back, I know that I'll be able to see how You moved me, so gradually and so unlike my own ideas, into Your perfect plan.
